Writer’s Block: I don’t want to win jackpot on the Powerball

I probably got your attention with that headline.

Eric Hagen
Eric Hagen

You must think I am crazy. I can be odd, but I do have my reasons for why I would not want to win a large Powerball jackpot.

Anoka County residents have been in the lottery news recently, so like many of us I was thinking what I would do if I won the Powerball jackpot and what my life would be like.

Of course, the different residents are facing much different circumstances.

An Andover man won $874,189 for the Aug. 7 Gopher 5 drawing.

A Ham Lake man that same day was one of three winners of a nationwide $448.4 million Powerball jackpot. He told the media he would be taking the $58.3 million cash option payout.

I’m not going to name these residents again because that is what I would prefer if I won a ton of money. I know those wishes cannot always be granted.

The Minnesota State Lottery loves to get publicity out about these games and it does bring needed revenue to the state, but I would hate to have my picture plastered all over the news with an announcement that I am a multi-millionaire and I live in the city of Ramsey.

My address is not listed in the phone book, but it would not be hard for people and organizations to eventually find me.

That may seem ironic because I work for a newspaper, which was one of many news outlets that publicized the Powerball story, but I am personally a more private person.

To be honest, I would never want to win a Powerball jackpot because of how much it would change my life.

I would probably move to a new community as quietly as possible, but try to find a new job to stay busy or freelance.

I am only 32 years old and do not want to retire anytime soon even if I’m wealthy.

That is not to say I would become a nomad and completely cut myself off from society, but it would be difficult to live in peace unless I move out of the country where Powerball is not big news.

Now that I think of it, England would be a cool place to live.

I rarely play Powerball because of the aforementioned reasons, but if I would win over $50 million, I would donate a lot to charities.

There are many worthy causes out there, but it would be difficult to decide where best to spend the money.

But before I would give a lot of money away, I would want to hire an investment banker. The recession made investing tough, but the old adage is “buy low, sell high.”

I would, of course, spoil myself with a cabin in the woods, a couple of boats and jet skis, another car and a bigger home.

I would take more vacations and help my friends and family out with expenses so they could go with me. I would buy better Christmas and birthday presents.

I am a bachelor, so I only have one mouth to feed and do not have a child to put through college, but I would help out my niece, who is now three years old.

The money probably would run out faster than I think it would with all I have listed, but that is why I would want to keep working.

Truthfully, I would be more than happy to win the $874,189 the Andover man won.

Again, I know taxes would eat into that, but that would be a solid retirement fund and I would not fret about how long my appliances are going to last or whether I should do a bathroom remodel project or whether I should get a beer or water at the restaurant.

Yeah, I am that frugal that I consider that when I go out to eat with friends. That is just the way I was raised.

The only way I would play the Powerball is with a large group, which does happen at my office, but I have not consistently joined in.

I guess I am too pessimistic about my chances of winning, but maybe I will try it out some more as long as the payout would not be too high.