| Writing has helped Jennifer Silvera heal |
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| Thursday, 04 June 2009 | ||
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Staff writer Writing has helped provide healing for Jennifer Silvera. In her darkest hours of despair, she turned to writing to sort through her feelings and make sense of what was happening.
Next week Jennifer will return to the roots of her faith for a book signing event at Epiphany Catholic Church, Coon Rapids, June 11. When her husband, Lino Lakes Police Officer Shawn Silvera, a Coon Rapids High School graduate, was killed in the line of duty in September 2005, Jennifer’s life was turned upside down. Suddenly she was a widow forced to deal with her own grief while being a supportive mother to Jordan, then 22 months old, and Madelynn, then five months old. Changing diapers, doing laundry and comforting a crying baby in the middle of the night, left little time for Jennifer to deal with her grief. That’s when a counselor suggested she try writing her thoughts and feelings down. She did and found writing a healing process. “When it was all inside it was way too much to handle,” Jennifer said about her grief. The notebooks became filled with her thoughts and feelings as they came to her throughout the day. But as days turned into weeks, Jennifer found her writing time was getting pushed aside by the day to day demands of running a household and raising kids. “I was taking care of very young children and I was grieving very hard,” she recalls. That’s when a friend created a blog for Jennifer and encouraged her friend to make writing a priority on her daily to do list. “The blog was a way to keep up on my writing,” she said. “It was a place for me to put the pain.” “It became an assignment just as important as changing diapers.” It was also a way for Jennifer to share her memories of her husband with her children before time made them less clear. As a blogger, Jennifer was aware that her writing was being read by others, so she opted not to post everything she wrote. “There were some very dark days I didn’t put out there,” she said. Jennifer’s blog proved to be more than just a way for her to chronicle her feelings and memories of Shawn, however. Over time she began receiving e-mails from all over the country and worldwide from readers who were touched by what Jennifer was writing. She recalls getting an e-mail from a woman in Kansas that said she was in extreme despair, but after reading Jennifer’s blog found the strength to go on. The e-mail came on a day when Jennifer herself was in a slump. “That in turn gave me the motivation to keep going in the day I had ahead of me,” she said. Helping others learn from her experience became Jennifer’s new mission, with readers e-mailing her asking her to consider writing a book. “That hadn’t been my idea,” Jennifer said about the book. “I wanted to have everything written down for my kids. I really wanted this documentation for them.” But writing had become a passion for Jennifer. “I loved to write,” she said. Jennifer eventually attended a writing conference in North Carolina some 18 months ago. While there, Jennifer heard the statistics demonstrating how hard it is for authors to get published. She showed some of her writing to a few publishers but didn’t expect it to go very far. “I came home believing I would go to the local Kinko’s and have it bound. It was going to be something for me and my kids,” Jennifer said. But a month later, Jennifer received a call from Kregel Publishing, letting her know the company wanted to publish her book. “I was astonished,” she said. Over the coming months, Jennifer’s father printed out all the blog entries and she began weaving together her story of hurt, healing and memories into book form. She decided to organize her book according to different grieving topics, rather than chronologically. “It shows the loops of grief,” said Jennifer, who describes the grieving process as a roller coaster. “You never really know what will trigger it, she said. After working on the manuscript four months on her own, she sent it off to the publisher where it went through five or six rounds of editing. “For me, I loved getting my edits back,” Jennifer said. She knew with each edit the book was getting better, she said. And the new author is equally pleased with the finished product. “To hold it in my hands was exactly how I envisioned it,” Jennifer said. While the pain of Shawn’s death remains with Jennifer, the book helps give her pain a purpose. “I loved the idea that this would have the potential to help someone else,” she said. Next week, Jennifer will return to her roots, growing up in Coon Rapids and attending Epiphany Catholic Church, for the book signing event. Epiphany is where she and Shawn were married, where they played together in Lifeteen Band and where friends and family packed to mourn Shawn’s death. The book signing is part of XLT, a monthly service. June 11, Jennifer will be the featured speaker from 7 to 8 p.m. The book signing will follow from 8 to 9:30 p.m. Dawn Loger, a jewelry designer with Divine Designs, will also be selling her unique creations inspired by “Believe.” Epiphany Catholic Church is located at 1900 111th Ave. N.W. in Coon Rapids. “Believe: A Young Widow’s Journey Through Brokenness and Back” is available at Barnes and Noble, Northwestern Book Stores, Borders, Amazon and at www.believenow.com . Kelly Johnson is at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it |
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